All I needed to know I learned at a funeral...

We've all seen those cute posters talking about how we learned everything we need to know about life in kindergarten but after the last few days I've experienced, I think I learned even more from attending a funeral...

As I sat there listening to all the wonderful things people had to say about Jason's Grandma Phyllis, I felt like I was hearing one of the best sermons ever said in church. I know most funerals are sad and depressing but this one was full of laughter and yes tears too. I heard stories of how Grandma always took care of everyone before herself and how she used to grow her garden, can the beans, and make huge dinners that could feed an army. I also heard how special she made people feel and how much richer everyone's lives are for having known her. I know mine is...

I found myself yelling at Janie today for breaking something, and without realizing it I was thinking back to something David had said at the memorial about how Grandma never yelled at them for an accident and that she was always reminding them that things are just things. They are never as important as people. I know we all know that, but do we really act out our days like we should?

On a day that was so sad, and a loss that was so large I had this overwelming feeling that I was being transformed in some way. I felt like I was given such a huge reminder about what life is really about and what is really important. In a world that is so easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be like the Jones' there was this amazing woman who had so much love inside of her for not only her family and friends but for God and His son that she couldn't help but to live a life they would be proud of. Not once at that memorial did I hear how big her house was, or if she drove a fancy car or had a big job title attached to her name. She lived for Christ and left a legacy for all of us to live up to. She will be so very missed...

Phyllis Eldene Lindal

October 6, 1916- June 9, 2008

A different world

I never thought I would be one of "those people"...You know, one of those moms that buys organic foods, wooden toys, cloth diapers etc. This has been a long road of coming to this point but I feel like a force outside of myself is steering the ship so to speak. I am extremely proud to be cloth diapering my little one. It's not that much extra work, and it's saves us money- oh and it's better for the environment too! I've stopped using my dishwasher (crazy I know!) and cut our electric bill by $30-$50 a month! This week I found myself giddy over a newly hung clothes line! What has the world come to!?! Every morning and every evening I actually enjoy hanging clothes for a few quiet moments to reflect by myself and I really enjoy the time I spend watering our garden in hopes of a bountiful harvest. Until then, I am searching out great deals at the grocery store. Just today I have processed over 10 lbs of green beans that are now ready to freeze for the winter! It's funny how life has a way of working itself out. I'm not sure how I got on the this journey to a more natural existance but I am really enjoying the ride!

Memorial Day

For most people, this Memorial Day holiday is just another excuse to get a day off work. This fact seems to me to be a bit ironic considering what it actually stands for. Memorial Day is set aside to remember our fallen soldiers who were SO far from having a day off work.

This Memorial Day holiday I would like to remember just one of those soldiers who gave their life so that we could be free. I never had the pleassure of knowing my Uncle Buddy but I feel like he is still such a big part of our lives thru the stories and emotions that my Papa has shared with me. Buddy was his big brother and by the sounds of it a really amazing young man. I wish so much I could have met him but I was born exactly 35 years to the day too late ...

This day should not be about bashing political candidates or voicing our political views on the current administration. Today should be simply about remembering and being thankful. My Uncle Buddy was certainly not the first to die for our country and he wasn't the last either. Please say an extra prayer for all of our soldiers worldwide and be oh so very thankful for even the littlest of our daily freedoms that we all take for granted...

Herbert L. Striker

1923-1944

A State of Mind

I have been really making a contious effort to find the good in each day, and in this state. It's no secret that Texas is not my favorite place to be but for the time being it is home so we have to embrace it! One of my regular sayings is that we might as well see the sites in Texas now cause you know we won't be coming back! lol

Today was one of those days that makes our stay here a bit more tolerable. We got to go with friends to pick strawberries! Yes, it would probably be cheaper to just wait for a good sale at the grocery store but this is one of those experiences that Alaska doesn't offer us. The girls loved getting to taste test and I got to take a ton of pictures! (Go figure!)

After going berry picking, we went to one of our favorite stops- the base thrift store! Along with many great deals (I'll write about another time) I was looking thru the baby clothes and came across a tie-die shirt...with the Alaska Grown logo on front!!! I instantly got a big lump in my throat and felt giddy about my find. My friend made a comment that it wasn't true and I looked at her in total confusion. I just didn't get it. Then it clicked in that she was saying Rori isn't Alaska grown! I went from confusion to anger (nothing against my friend tho). Of course she is Alaskan....her birth certificate may say Texas on it but we do not belong here. That's when I decided that it's just a state of mind...our hearts belong to Alaska...including those born elsewhere!

We have just returned from one of those outings that I hope the girls will remember for a long time, even if it's only in pieces. The trip had this feeling about it that I don't know if I'll explain correctly but to me felt like one of those Americana, very basic road trips...four people smashed into a tiny car (my little red Sunfire gets great gas mileage!), with no CD player and two very impatient kids! It was only a 6 hour drive but with no DVD player and only ancient cassette tapes to listen to it made for an interesting afternoon. Nonetheless, I had warm fuzzy as I looked at my little family making it all work and having fun along the way.

We went to San Antonio to visit an old friend of mine and her new baby and then took advantage of free tickets to Sea World! The weekend went by so fast but it was wonderful to see her again and to actually get the girls out for something fun to do. The crowds were a bit suffocating and I still would have rather gone fishing/camping but for Texas fun it was a good time! Now we'll see how they do on the bigger road trip.... lol This should be interesting!

Farewell to a friend

I guess it was naive to think that our family would return to Alaska the same as it came here...I just always thought we'd have both of our trusted friends with us when we returned to our state of home. Koda and Karma so loved it there, in the snow, hiking in the woods or just spending the day at the park in Peter's Creek. As I write this, all I can feel is the pain in my chest and the sobs that just won't stop. I know that I can't fix her and that Karma is going to be lost without her. Janie is already heartbroken and I can't fix those feelings for either one of them either. My poor husband has taken the burden upon himself to take her in. We really had no choice...

For those who don't know, we have been fighting food allergies with Koda since she was about a year old. Recently it has progressed to what they think is either irritable bowel disease or lymphoma, (neither one is good) and she hasn't been responding to any of the numerous meds and diet changes we've been trying. She is down to just skin and bones and last night Janie found that she was bleeding and I won't go into details but to say the on call Dr. said there was a choice to be made. Even as she went thru all the options with me I had a calm come over me that told me there really was no choice. The hardest part was seeing her sweet face watch me make dinner like nothing was wrong and then having to explain to Janie that we couldn't fix this but that we had to be a good friend and let her go...All evening, night and now morning I just can't help but cry. It's just not fair, she's too young and too sweet and so very loved...I know it sounds so stupid but she's one more piece of Alaska being taken from us....she was the first thing to make us feel like a family.

I was 8 months pregnant when I ran across her picture online and showed Jason. I told him joking that it was good thing we didn't live in Fairbanks cause if we did we'd have a dog! lol I showed him a picture of her, we ended up calling the shelter and talking at length with them about her to later leave for the 7 hour trip north to stay in a hotel. We got up early the next morning, stopped in a cute little diner to barely eat due to excitement and then we sat outside of the shelter waiting for them to open. Jason was like a little kid, squirming in his seat to the point that he went and stood at the door in 12 below temperatures to ensure no one else got in before him! We went into a room with Koda (then Katy) and it was all over from there ! There was something about her that just said "yes take me home". And then stupid us, drove the 7 hours home with her asleep in the backseat of my sunfire! She slept most of the way home and the rest if history.

Deep down I know we couldn't let her go on the way she is but I still hope that someday soon I will be at peace with our choice. It's never easy to say goodbye to a friend, especially one so faithful. If you are reading this please just say an extra prayer for her friend Karma that is left behind. She has never known a life without her. And for Janie, it is so hard to mend the heart of a little girl.

In loving memory of Koda 2003-2008

As many of you know, when I learn something new I tend to get consumed by it! I have tried to crochet things for years and they jsut never seemed to turn out and then I found a pattern for the cutest little babydoll and had to give it one more go if it....For once the doll turned out just how it was supposed to and was easiy enough I even made one for each of the girls! lol And that was how the obsession began!

Now I have moved on to making diaper soakers and my favorite thing these days is play food! Little by little I am replacing the made in China plastic crap with wooden or handmade crochet food and Janie LOVES it! These eggs are awaiting two little girls to find them in eggs on Easter morning and so is this little carrot! I can't wait to hear Janie's reaction!

I am also big into freecycle, a group on yahoo that was put together to avoid putting what might be another person's treasures into a landfill. It has bee na great resource for not only cleaning out our over stuffed house but for getting items that we could use too! Just this morning I met a lady who had 14 skiens of yarn in need of a good home! I was happy to take them and Janie is already putting in her orders and earmarking the different colors for things she wants me to make! I'm glad she has such high ideas as to my ability but talk about pressure! lol For now, I am just enjoying my new found love of crocheting and taking advantage of the little bit of quiet time I get to make the girls surprises when I can....my next challenge will be figuring out Etsy so I can try to maybe make some extra money selling my creations! I always have to be reaching for the next level of success...